Thank you, 2022!
The year 2022 was over! I’m so thankful for many important lessons. I will share it into 4 categories: personal growth, career & education, family, and relationships.
This year was totally different! I was moving to another city. Even though Jogja was my hometown and I live in my Grandparent’s house. I still felt lonely and missed my home! Now, I’m still striving to adapt and learn about this town, its culture, people, language, and many things.
At first, I thought I was mature enough to live alone. I was 23 y.o! I think that I must have known a lot. I must be strong. I must be independent. Easy peasy. HAHA. Back then, I realized that I don’t need to know and solve everything by myself. I’m just a normal human, so I can feel sick and weak. But, I don’t need to feel shame about it. I’m the one who has the responsibility to take care of myself.
I remove ‘must’ from my dictionary. It really helps me! I’m focusing on always learning. I can learn everything here! I can learn to embrace my solitude. I can learn to manage my own money. I can learn to make new friends. I can learn to appreciate the small things (family dinners, meeting your old friends, having deep conversations with your support systems, etc).
Career & Education
My career journey might look different from my peers! And, that’s totally okay! You don’t need to rush your process. Stick with your own goal! Never ever compare what’s happening in your life with their life.
Also, it’s pretty hard to accept it. But, maybe because you live in a different situation with your friends. Your friends can’t really understand your struggle. It’s totally fine for they don’t really know about something that they never try before. But, trust me. You don’t need to compare who’s having the heaviest baggage in their life. Everyone is having their own baggage.
I’m very thankful for being born into my family. I learned a lot in my class about relationships in family situations with many psychopathologies. I know that every family is having ‘different’ story. But, I can grow and learn with my family is truly a blessing.
My parents are one of my sources of spirit to live here. When I don’t have many friends to talk to about my struggle. I’m very lucky to have them in my life. I felt that my ‘defence’ to be always fine and good was melting. I slowly start to show my vulnerability to them. And, I always believe that they just want to give the best things they could afford to their kids.
I always think that I’m a ‘humble person’ who can easily make new friends. Besides that, I have some best friends who still stick together with me since elementary school until now! They are amazing people who can easily understand and give emotional support to me. They had accepted me just the way I am. But, they live in Jakarta! Ouch! (Anyway, even though we’re not living in the same city, our connection was really strong :’)
I should start to build my new social network here. I should create my ‘new support system’. I know that it takes time and I just need to trust the process.
But, sometimes I felt worried. Most of the time, I don’t have much time and energy. I spent a lot of time and energy on campus. That’s why, after that, I just feel tired and numb. I don’t have a meaningful conversation again with people. I just complain about how’s stressful and exhausting the current condition.
But, one of my classmates friend ever said to me:
You may need more time and it’s totally okay.
I don’t need to do it all now. Maybe, in the first term, I’m still trying to adapt to academic things. After that, I can start to open up with new relationships. I can start it on my own. Never ever give up, guys!
The last but not least, I strongly believe that everything is start with the “right” mindset! Be the energy that you want to attract!
So, what’s next in 2023? I really hope many good things happen this year!